Portraits Are a Dance, Not a Performance
A great portrait is not something I take from you. It is something we build together. Every session is a quiet back and forth. A read of body language. A shift in posture. A laugh that wasn’t planned. A pause that says more than a perfect smile ever could. Portraits work best when they are a collaboration, not a performance.
Think of it like a dance. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes I do. Most of the time, we are responding to each other in real time, adjusting the rhythm until it feels natural. That is where the good stuff lives. Neither of us can be afraid to try something. Often we may not know how it will turn out… and magic happens when you least expect it.
Why the Photographer and Subject Connection Matters
You do not need to know how to pose or what to do with your hands. You do not need to show up as a finished version of yourself. My job as a photographer is to watch, to listen, and to notice when you relax your shoulders or when an expression feels forced versus when it feels like home. Your job is simply to show up open to the process.
When that trust clicks, everything changes. Your expression softens. Your posture becomes honest. Your headshots start to feel like you instead of a version you think you are supposed to be. That connection is what separates a good portrait from one that actually works for your brand.
How to Prepare for a Headshot Session Without Overthinking It
Preparation does not mean perfection. It means intention. A little thought ahead of time goes a long way and actually makes the session feel easier, not heavier.
When people ask what to wear for headshots, I usually guide them to think less about rules and more about feeling. On my home page you can also get my “what to wear guide” What do you want your images to feel like when someone sees them? Warm and grounded. Clean and modern. Bold and confident. Calm and minimal. Color plays a huge role in this. Earth tones tend to feel steady and approachable. Neutrals feel timeless. Deep colors read confident and strong. Lighter tones often feel softer and more open. You do not need a full palette or a perfectly styled closet. Just a general direction. We refine the rest together.
It also helps to think about how you will actually use your headshots. Headshots are not one size fits all. Images for a website often need a different energy than images meant for social media, marketing materials, or professional profiles. Someone who needs a polished, professional look may want something different than someone who needs relaxed, conversational content. Knowing where these images will live helps guide expression, framing, and overall tone. The end use informs the movement of the dance.
Choosing Expressions That Feel Natural and Authentic
Another piece that matters more than people realize is expression. Not everyone is a big-smile person. While I do believe smiles sell… it is more about the eyes than the mouth. Eyes looking kind, intentional, honest… sell… smiles help but aren’t everything. Imagine a huge smile with dead eyes, it just doesn’t work. I for one don’t love my “big smile”. I am more of. smirk girl. Not everyone feels like themselves laughing on cue (although I may ask you to!). Not everyone wants intense, serious eye contact either. You want to feel like you.
Before your session, it helps to think about how you naturally show emotion. Are you more subtle or expressive? Do you connect through eye contact or through posture? Do you feel most confident calm, joyful, focused, or playful? There is no right answer. The goal is not to force an expression that does not belong to you. It is to notice what already exists and build from there.
If you are not sure how to put language to that yet, this is where the headshot archetype quiz can help. It gives you a starting point for understanding how you naturally show up and how you want others to experience you. You can take the quiz here: https://www.stillandwild.com/headshot-archetype-quiz. It is not about boxing you in. It is about clarity. And clarity makes collaboration easier.
During the session, I will guide you, but I am also watching for the moments that happen between directions. Those in-between moments are often the images people connect with the most and the ones clients choose again and again for their branding.
Some Practical Ways to Show Up Ready
If you want something tangible to do before your session, here are a few things that actually make a difference.
Give yourself time. Rushing into a session flustered shows up immediately in your body language. Arriving a few minutes early allows you to breathe, settle, and ease into the space. The calmer you feel walking in, the easier it is to find your rhythm.
Wear clothes you can move in. If you are constantly adjusting a collar, tugging a sleeve, or worrying about how something sits when you shift, it pulls you out of the moment. Comfort equals confidence more often than people expect. If it feels distracting in real life, it will feel distracting on camera.
Think about posture before posing. You do not need to stand stiff or perfect. Instead, think tall but relaxed. Roll your shoulders back once and let them drop. That simple reset changes how you hold yourself without forcing anything unnatural.
Trust pauses. Silence during a session does not mean something is wrong. Sometimes I am watching. Sometimes I am waiting for you to settle into a position or expression that feels honest. You do not need to fill every quiet moment with movement or conversation. Some of the strongest images happen right after things slow down.
Great headshot expressions are like a paint sample strip… subtle. Small shifts give you a lot of content even if you feel like they are almost the same. A small tilt, a slight smile change, or a more intentional eye can make a headshot go from fine to wow!
Allow yourself to warm up. Almost no one loves the first few frames. That is normal. Those early moments are about finding your footing. The best images usually come after you have had time to adjust, laugh once or twice, and realize you do not need to perform. Give yourself permission to ease into it. Also give yourself permission to not know exactly how it will all turn out….sometimes we create a look you love that you hadn’t even considered.
Communicate if something feels off. If a pose feels awkward, say so. If you feel more like yourself sitting than standing, tell me. If you dislike a certain angle or expression, that feedback helps guide the collaboration. This is not about pushing through discomfort. It is about adjusting until it feels right. Plus… I want you to feel great about these pictures. A small tweak can make all the difference. I typically tether so you can see you images as we are taking them, give you a chance to evaluate what you love and want we need to change.
Why Collaboration Creates Better Portraits
When you stop trying to perform and start responding, the pressure drops. You do not have to get it right. You do not have to hold a pose too long, actually you moving around will give much more natural poses than standing like a statue. You do not have to be anyone else. We move, adjust, pause, and try something different. Sometimes we miss. Sometimes we hit something unexpectedly great. That is the rhythm of it. We will figure it out.
Portrait photography is not about freezing a perfect moment. It is about creating space for something real to show up. And when that happens, you can feel it in the image.
If you are preparing for a headshot or branding session and feel unsure where to start, that is normal. You do not have to arrive with all the answers. That is part of what we figure out together. The dance works best when both of us are listening.
